


Respect your elders

by bobadeluxe



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Chinese Culture, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon, Qingming Festival, Short One Shot, Spoilers for At the Mountain of Dadness, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobadeluxe/pseuds/bobadeluxe
Summary: Nick wakes up in a void. He sees nothing but pitch-black darkness, under him, above him.. until he turns around and sees Meryl Streep.No, not the Mamma Mia one. The one from the silent era.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Respect your elders

Nick wakes up in a void. He sees nothing but pitch-black darkness, under him, above him.. until he turns around and sees  _ Meryl Streep.  _ No, not the Mamma Mia one. The one from the silent era. This has to be a vivid dream or Nick took something he shouldn’t have before sleep.

“Hello, Nicolas.”  **Meryl Streep** greets him. It’s weird to hear his name from his mouth, especially his full name. “I haven’t seen you in a long time. You’ve grown into a fine young man.”

“Who? Me?” Nick points at himself.

“Is it not short for Nicolas?” Meryl Streep wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Are you  _ Nikola?  _ Good god. Don’t tell me Glenn is short for Glennjamin.”

“No, it’s Nicolas.” Though Glennjamin is pretty funny. Nick makes a note to use it against his father later. “You can call me Nick, though.”   


“If that’s what you prefer.” 

Nick looks the actor up and down, again and again, until he starts to feel dizzy. Meryl Streep looks just like how Nick remembers him  — from the Buzzfeed Unsolved thumbnail. He disappeared in the late 30’s, then later his body was found brutally disfigured. It’s horrible. Right now he looks fine though, like he hasn’t aged a day, and is still alive. Suit, mustache, white gloves, and the cane — all that jazz. He looks familiar... somehow.

“I won’t waste much of your time, Nick. You need your beauty sleep. I wouldn’t bother you at all, if I was able to get through to your father. You see, he’s neglected Qingming for  _ two years  _ in a row now. Do you understand how humiliating it is to be the only who whose descendants did not make any offerings to? Even the rat bastard Bill got some money to burn from his side of the family! Yet I, Meryl Streep, am alone and forgotten — ”

He goes on a tangent for at least an hour, rambling about utterly incomprehensible things at the confused Nick. He’s barely processed the fact that he’s apparently related to the silent era star Meryl Streep. How could he understand the nuances of socializing in the afterlife? 

He’s now complaining about how joss paper should have more variety, because he finds Gucci too tacky for his liking. Nick is still reeling from the shock of learning about his family history for the very first time.

“What have I done for all of you to abandon me so? Except dying tragically young and beautiful? I can’t believe..”

“We’re related?” Nick blurts out. He couldn’t help himself.

“Of course we are. Where did you think you and your father get that beautiful head of hair? Bill Close, with the male pattern baldness?” He says it like it's the most obvious thing, and Nick should already know it. “I’m your great-grandfather from your father's side.”

“This is … wow.” 

Though he’s not excited to be related to a famous actor, he’s excited to learn something new about himself. Dad doesn’t talk much about their family.

_ Great-grandpa  _ Meryl twirls his mustache, with the hand that isn’t resting on his beautifully carved cane. “I bet your barber charges you extra because of how thick it is. Thank me later when your facial hair grows in.” 

Nick perks up at his words. Facial hair? That wouldn’t be until years in the future, but it’s exciting to think about.

“Better yet, thank me by telling your father to fulfil his obligation! I want the new iPhone  **with** the new charger. The old one isn’t compatible, and I don’t know why you would burn someone a phone without a charger.”

He doesn’t really understand how all of this works, but it sounds reasonable enough. Regardless of how you would send a phone to your dead relatives, they can’t use it without power.

“Do you want AirPods?” Nick asks.

Great-grandpa Meryl frowns. “What’s that?”

“It’s like, wireless bluetooth earbuds.”

“I understand those words separately.” Before Nick could attempt to explain further, his great-grandpa shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Is it something a man of my caliber should have?”

Nick doesn’t know what it's supposed to mean, but he guess it means someone rich and kinda pompous, so.. “Yeah.”

“Magnificent. Send them all to me."

"I’ll let dad know,” Nick says, then hesitantly asks a question. “Will I look like you when I grow up?”

Great-grandpa seems surprised at his question, but his eyes look at Nick with nothing but fondness. His smile is warm and friendly, unlike the brooding villain faces he made in his posters.

“That remains to be seen, but I don’t see why not.”

“Sweet!” Nick grins from ear to ear. “Hey, were your parents taller than you?”

His smile falters in a split second. “That’s very rude, Nicolas!”

“Oh come on, I need to know! Am I gonna be taller?”

“I hate to break it to you, but no.” Okay, now nobody's smiling. “My mother was 4’11.”

**“No!”** Nick screams in horror.

Great-grandpa sighs, distraught. “I know, I’m so sorry.”

It can’t be helped. “I’ll cope. So… iPhone and AirPods?”

“And something nice I can show off at the next family reunion,” Grandpa says. “That’s the lunar new year.”

“Oh, okay.” Good to know. “How about high heels?”

“Nicolas Close, you’re a cruel child.”

**Author's Note:**

> i like to think that nick and I are in the same place, which is that we'd be fucked when it comes to our generation. I do not know how to do anything, and my parents were not helpful. My grandma did everything, from the food to the rituals. I'm gonna have to buy KFC instead of cooking a chicken proper. My great-grandpa is gonna be pissed.
> 
> it's my personal running joke that meryl EXTREMELY disapproves Bill to a ridiculous degree. Not in a 'no one's good enough for my daughter!' way, he just REALLY hates Bill. If he was alive, he would be a major disaster at their wedding. Like 'nightmare Asian in-laws' level.


End file.
